Finally joined the revolution

Monday night I was working on some stuff for a client, and everything was going along smoothly, maybe almost too smoothly. My Dell that I bought from my sister then popped up a strange error... your computer is corrupt, save your work, Windows is shutting down in 60 seconds! No way to stop it. OK, whatever... saved work... chilled... Windows restarts... bluescreen! Ugh... I hate those stupid blue screens of death.

At the top, it says "To protect your computer, Windows has been shutdown." So many thing are wrong with that. What was Windows going to do to my computer? What was my computer without Windows? Why does it need to shutdown? Is it really protecting the computer... I mean, I am getting mad enough to make a Dell frisbee... so its not really so protective.

Anyway... I spent all night trying to get it running. I scoured the internet on my iPhone looking for a solution to my cryptic error. Turns out, the error means that there might be something wrong with my DVD drive... which I wasn't using, and is built into the laptop... and why can't it just boot without turning on the DVD drive.

The only solutions I had was to take it into one of these over-priced fixing places... pay probably $300 for them to say, "yup, its broken"... or to go buy a new machine. I am so sick of these stupid computers... Windows does incredible Mac advertising.

I went to my local Mac store at 9:03 am... tossed my dead machine on a counter, told them I need to replace this piece of junk with a Mac. They laughed, and I walked out at 9:37 with a new Mac, and all the stuff I need to capture my information off the old hard drive!

I bought the cheapest Mac they had, and its loaded, and fast... and is sweet. While I type this blog, iTunes is importing my thousands of songs, iPhoto is importing my 5,000 photos, I have Photoshop and Dreamweaver open, I have a movie playing in the corner, and am IM'ing my buddy about how cool this thing is, and it isn't skipping a beat.

I feel like I just came out of the woods, carrying a club, wearing a bear skin, and am looking down on a world that looks like the set of Blade Runner, realizing that I had been using that club to do my computing for way too long. I know Kung Fu.

Thanks Mac...

Nieces and Nephews

This year I was lucky enouh to gain another nephew, Wesley Morgan Harvey. He, ofcourse, is the cutest zero-year-old ever, and is so far the most talented, and expressive zero-year-old I have met this year.

It took my sister and brother-in-law quite a bit of drama to eventually be blessed with this amazing baby. But, from the smile that has been plastered on their faces, he's well worth it. It has been amazing to see how much he has grown and changed in just a few weeks that I was with him.

I love being an uncle. Usually all it takes to be liked by the kids is a little playing, some goofing off, and occassionally doing stuff their parents don't let them do (like playing in the mud). It's always amazing every year to see how the kids are changing, and then to figure out what caused those changed... which ofcourse is entirely impossible. I love the fact that I can drink beer and play cards with the oldest one, change the diapers of the smallest one, and have 8 others in between. 10 is a good number of nieces and nephews... till the next one ofcourse.

Maybe one day I will be a dad, maybe I won't. Right now, being an uncle is cheaper, less complicated and more fun for me. So thank you brothers and sisters for your kids, they are all amazing.

Conspiracy

Big foot, aliens, and fair elections are all fodder for conspiracy theorists. I have a new one. What ever happened to that little tooth on the back of the tab for your zippers? You know, the one that locks the pull-tab into the teeth of the zipper, so it doesn't magically unzip. It surely can't cost so much more to have that little lock on the tab... and it saves alot of embarrassment.

I believe it is a conspiracy by Chinese manufacturers in an attempt to "catch us with our pants down". Having the fly down is 3/4 of the battle. Too bad they don't realize that is only a expression, not a goal.

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Return of the Tenants.

Landlording can be funny. When I evicted my tenants, the bailiff showed up, and anything left in there... anything... becomes mine. Its pretty awesome, I have always wanted 1,000 baby socks strewn about my basement... and an old, broke down dryer. Somethings that they left behind though were important to them, which is why they called me that one day asking for a "box of important papers" which had "insurance, and tax information" on it. Well, they left so many boxes and bags of stuff, I never actually found that one box. I really did not feel like digging through the blend of dirty clothes, car-parts, and papers to find out which one she was talking about.

Anyway... I did stumble on some stuff that was probably important to them. Like some mail, their baby's footprints from the hospital, and a whole bag full of photo-albums! I hung onto those things for them, and was going to mail them out. I didn't have the right address for them though (the small-claims suit was returned to the courts unclaimed at the address I had), so I called them to find their new address. I planned on mailing their stuff to them last week, but I broke my ankle, which sucks. So I didn't get to it, as I was getting xrays and seeing the ortho dr. instead.

Saturday afternoon the tenant shows up at my house, with the police! She was demanding I turn over her belongings left behind! I explained to her that because she was evicted, everything she left behind, including her dirty disgusting clothes, became all mine. I gave her the mail that I had sitting there, along with her baby's footprints... but I kept all those photo albums to myself. They owe me over $1,800, and now they show up with the police demanding I turn over the junk they left behind, that made me kinda mad, so why should I give her those items back.

The cops kinda laughed at her for thinking she could get her stuff back. Turns out, her main concern was with identity theft, because now I would have her social security number. Firstly, they wrote their SSN on her application for the unit. Secondly... why would I steal the identity of deadbeats who can't pay their rent?!?! What do I get out of that except for more bills!

I can't wait till their court date, July 9th. That should be fun.

Tenants... yay for being a landlord

Buying a duplex, and renting out half of it seems like a good idea. I mean... when rented, the one side pays for most of the house... which is a good deal... when they pay.

I bought the house with a couple living there, with a few kids, one being a baby. They were late the first month... I forgave them the late fee, to set up a nice relationship. That wasn't smart.

They were late the next month, and the month after... eventually having to wait till they got a tax return to pay off all that they owed me... they paid for December's and January's rent at the end of January... and then... they paid February on time! One month on time, out of 5... not so good, the rent is cheap.

March rolled around... and they gave me a song and dance about how they can't pay the rent, and would have the money in "3 weeks, or 2 weeks... or maybe one week." I gave them 3 days... and then evicted them. I am not running a charity.

It took a month to get them finally out... and lawyers fees, and other costs. But, finally, I locked them out the other day (in the presence of the bailiff). With the rent the owe me, and the other fees I had to incur... and now the cleaning of their stinking place... I am out about $1500!

They left me a nice little note before they finally got all their crap out... saying how I am a nice guy, and how they are sorry, and how they have new jobs which are going to pay alot more... and how there were "no hard feelings." Well... there are hard feelings... 1500 of them. I planned on taking them to small claims court... partially to see if I can get some money back, and partially to learn how the process works. Problem is... they never left me a forwarding address. I tried all of the 5 or 6 numbers I had for them... and somehow every one is disconnected... go figure. I started gearing up to have to search for them... calling their references, calling their work, calling the post office, or the utilities company....

Sunday morning... they called me! Apparently, in their stupidity... they left a box of important papers, in the unit. They asked that I leave it on the porch for them... which I said we had started to go through and clean, and threw some of their stuff away... but if I had their address, I could forward some mail they had, and send this box of stuff to them... they gave it to me!

Instead of a box of papers they needed, they will be getting a summons to appear in court.

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Even in Spam

My buddy Paul always has some displaced Nigerian king wanting to pay him to  help out with a little problem he has... or is contacted by someone who works at the bank, and found an error in record keeping leaving untold millions uncollected and wants to give some to him... or some how wins the British lottery (note, Paul sits next to me at work, no where near anything as cool as London).

Me... I win sometimes too... but the consolation prize.

---

Ref Nr: PBL/CN/6654/CP
Dear consolation Prize Winner,

We wish to congratulate and inform you on the
selection of your email
coupon number which was selected among the 6
lucky consolation prize
winners Your email ID identified with coupon No.
PBL2348974321 and
was selected by our E-games Random Selection
System (ERSS) with entries
fromthe 50,000 different email addresses
enrolled for the E-game.

Your email ID was included among the 50,000
different email addresses
submitted by our partner international email
provider companies.
You  have won a consolation cash prize of GBP
1,500,000.00 (One
MillionFive Hundred Thousand Great Britain
Pounds) only.

You are to contact the DPU Officer with the
following details for the

release of your winnings.

Claims Requirements:

1.Name in full:
2.Home Address:
3.Age:
4.Occupation:
5.Phone Number:
6.Present Country:
7.Sex:
Contact Person: Mr Anderson Moore
Contact E-mail: email removed to protect the scammer

TEL: Tel: +44-701-114-7850



Regards
Mrs. Stella Bryan
(Group Co-ordinator

---

So, not even when its fake, or spam can I win the main prize!     

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A recent forwarded message

A friend forwarded this on, and I thought this was interesting... it made me think enough atleast to think it might be interesting to other people.

---

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably,if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards.


Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

---

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What I have learned about owning a home so far...

So, I have been a home owner for almost a month. So far, so good. I have learned a few things:

• The roof will always leak. If its not leaking where your looking now, its leaking somewhere else.
• Plaster is a pain to repair... and the holes get bigger so easily.
• Appliance shopping makes you feel incredibly domestic... and almost sick to your stomach.
• Any project can not be solved with a single trip to Lowes... you must make several trips before you even start.
• A case of beer does not last a whole weekend of "working on the house".
• You will never put a shopvac filter on correctly the first time, and you will shoot dust all over the house.
• Bulbs in the basement always burn out when your trying to catch a bug, carrying something heavy, trying to avoid the water overflowing from the washer.

There will be more... this is all I can think of from a foggy Monday morning.

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State of the apartment

So... its been a little while since I have made a post to the blog, haven't been sailing in a while... have been trying to deal with a few other things lately.

About a month ago, I noticed that the apartment building took down some doors I believed were there for fire-protection, or smoke barriers. These doors sit at the bottom of the main fire-egress path for the entire 5 story apartment building. I have lived in this place since I have been in Dayton... otherwise known as "too long". I mentioned it to the landlord lady, a insert-bad-word-here woman named Carol. She argued with me about it, saying a fireman had told her it was ok to remove the door. Not to say that fireman don't know what they are doing, but its not their place to authorize the removal of fire-doors. Not that its my place either, but I was pretty sure the doors were at least smoke-barriers.

I came to work that day, a bit perturbed that the landlord of the building would be so frivolous with life-safety. I grabbed our code-book, and spent some time going through it to find the pertinent passages of code which would tell me that door was likely there for fire protection, or a smoke barrier. Yup... found them, basically, the fire stairs need a 2-hour enclosure all the way to the outside. Removing those doors would violate that. NFPA 80 states that fire-doors shall be marked with the ratings and things, and that tag should not be painted over... if the tags had not been painted over, then the fireman would have known that these doors are needed for life-safety.

I gave Carol copies of the codes, showing her the likelihood that these are protective doors. Her response, "this is incomplete." Anybody that knows anything about building code knows that it references its other parts everywhere. Carol in essence wanted me to give her an entire copy of the code, with all the research needed to prove these are fire-doors. I offered to do it, for a fee. The original architects already did this, and they got paid for it... I should be paid too.

I gave Carol's boss a call, to inform him that she had done this, and that she was being non-responsive to my pointing this out... and she was down-right rude, and condescending. He was not there, so I left him a voicemail.

Lets say that there's a fire while these doors aren't there. These doors protect the main path people would try to use to evacuate the building. Removing these doors may lead to a tragic situation, and at the very least much more property damage, and loss. If someone did die, there would surely be an investigation, which would lead to the discovery of the removal of these doors, and to the discovery that the landlord was made aware of the nature of these doors, and yet didn't do anything to restore the building to a safe condition. I am sure the insurance company for this place would have an interesting response, and all survivors would have a pretty simple case to sue the owners for their losses.

So, perhaps me pointing this out to the lofts helped avert a tragic situation, save them a huge hassle, and helped their parent company from facing a massive financial burden. You'd think they would be a little thankful that I helped avoid some of this for them. Instead of being thankful, they have decided to kick me out!

A few days after calling Carol's boss, she left me a nice little note on my door, giving me till the end of October to pack up and leave. I mean... why would they want me around, I am a trouble maker... who wants to live in a building that follows building code, thats just crazy.

Right now, I am in a search for a new place to live. There are alot of things to consider, so who knows where I will end up. When I find a suitable place to rest my head, this blog will know.

Starbucks... on your iPod!!!

Starbucks just opened a store... in my pants!!!

iPod touch features.

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Two more photos of the Mudaritaville carnage.

A fun time was had by all.

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Mudaritaville 2007

This last weekend saw Mudaritaville 2007 Mud Volleyball for Epilepsy. It was an amazing event, which sold out this year, for the first time in the 16 years its been running. Our team won only one of the 6 games we played but we had a blast losing... we left before the afternoon session as most people on the team were burnt out by then.

A great time was had by all, and I will update this post, or add another one when the foundation finds out how much help we gave to the cause.

14 Years

14 years is a long time to own anything. Yesterday, I finally sold my truck to a buddy of mine (TJ) who is looking to either repair, or to replace her engine.

This was my 2nd vehicle, and I owned her new when I was 18 years old. We had traveled around the US several times... and she kept me safe the whole way, for 200,000 miles. I will miss her terribly.

Good night sweet truck.

Happy Birthday Bailey

Bailey's birthday was yesterday... he turned... one year older than he was. I probably should know this... but then, there are alot of things I should know. Here's the birthday boy in Vegas.



Happy birthday Bailey... I miss you.

Christmas / New Years slacker...

So, I have not been such a good blogger... or friend. I think the rule is that I am supposed to post some stuff for Christmas, and for New Years... and I didn't. Now that the first month is half over, I will attempt to fix that. As my first offering, here is my nephew's version of Jingle Bells... too cute.

Merry Belated Christmas





More to follow.

Office Posters

Every office has that go-to guy, the one who has been around before shoes were invented, knows everything, and has millions of stories. Our office has one, he used to be a partner, then kind of retired... but does not know how to not work, Dick Roediger. A few years ago, we found an old photo of him from back in the day when he was a lady killer. Opportunities like this are too hard to pass up, and during slow times at work, I have to do something interesting... so I borrowed his headshot, and a movie poster... and... tada:



Since that time, I have made one for every holiday, or every day I get bored. I have made alot of these. Here are some of the better ones. More to follow.

Halloween this year:


Random bored time:


This year's Christmas has a few posters.

Spam of the day

Spam is not the normal thing people like... but I was bored, so I read some of it. Spammers are always trying to out trick the anti-spam-bots with new and clever ideas. One of the newer ways is to steal lines, words, and paragraphs from various websites and assmeble them into meaningless dribble, which might make you read it. This makes for interesting combinations... here are a few I found this morning. Note, these are taken directly from the e-mail, no alterations.

com allows site owners to "claim" a word for their very own
If I copywrite that word, can I earn royalties?

This site is selling out words quickly, New Specials Each Week! Perfect for wedding and baby showers, kids' parties, or any occasion.
With Christmas right around the corner, you might be unwrapping your very own word.

OUR December HOT PICK IS: ARSS
No comment

Words disintegrate to reveal new letters.
Guess there are use-by dates for all those "words" you bought earlier.

Each month we will send one of our giant Mrs.
They ran out of regular sized Mrs a while ago.

Wind your way through the hive tunnels to find the exit, and smother hapless beekeepers by swarming with the rest of your hive to show the puny humans your queen is boss!
Puny humans... all your queen are belong to us!

And if that scale scares you think about writing a simple program that helps a single student learn something new.
Scale?

But at its heart - computer science
rocks!

With the MS version, you have to look in the UNDO files.
Geekdom version of X-files... a straight to Beta-max release.


Costly mudlogger it reached maximum
Mudloggers are expensive.


Dogs mention poodles equally


Harry invisible children
How does one know if an invisible child is harry?


STRONGEST WINDS OUT OF INTERIOR PASSES


Get reasonable price suffer.
Another great Christmas present idea.


Yes, the headline above is the correct way
of asking "what's your problem?


Theres no containing those show up dogs.


I am sure there will be more to follow.

All good things...

14 years is a long time to have a vehicle. I think most people switch cars every 3 or 4 years... few keep their car for longer than 6 or 7 years. Some times people become very connected to their vehicles (right mum)... and after 14 years, and 200,000 miles, I certainly have become connected to my truck. That's why it hurts so much to have found out that she has a terminal condition, and she only has a few weeks to live.

We were on the way to Chicago, when it appears that the minor coolant leak got very much worse. She has apparently blown her head gasket, warped her heads, and damaged the piston rings. This is an unserviceable situation, and engine transplant is the only solution for her. Right now, she leaves a toxic cloud of smoke if I try to drive her... so thick it blocks out the sun.

She has been everywhere with me... we started in 1993 by traveling the country following the national jetski circuit. Since that time, she has taken me anywhere I asked of her, and back again... even after becoming critically ill, she still made sure to bring me home.

We have camped at the lake many a night. We saw many a drive-in movie. She has gotten me through so many storms. She has protected me in 2 accidents, and twice when we flew off the road due to ice. She drove my world across the country for graduate school. She has moved countless friends... many more than once. Every girl I have dated since high school has been in that truck.

In short... I love her, and it hurts like losing a favorite pet. She has proven to be more reliable, and faithful than any of the afore-mentioned girls. I know if I needed her too, she would take me on one last trip, even if it meant her great pain.

Soon, I will be putting her to sleep. Goodnight my truck. Sleep well, and have good dreams.

What do Diet Coke, Mentos, and too much time equal.

A mad farmer, with a mess to clean up.

Kids with lab coats can come up with the greatest things. Turns out, Steve Wynn paid way too much money for his Belagio fountains.



From www.eepybird.com